Is My Partner Cheating? Take This 25-Sign Assessment

You searched for an "is my partner cheating" quiz because something feels off. Maybe your partner has been guarding their phone. Maybe conversations that used to flow easily now feel forced. Maybe you cannot point to one specific thing — just a persistent feeling that something has changed.

You are not imagining things. Private investigators consistently report that roughly 85% of people who suspect a partner of cheating turn out to be correct. That statistic does not mean your suspicion is automatically right. But it does mean your instincts deserve a structured evaluation rather than being dismissed.

This 25-sign assessment covers five categories of behavior that relationship therapists and infidelity researchers flag most frequently. Answer each question honestly, tally your score, and use the results to determine your specific next steps — whether that is a direct conversation, professional help, or a dating profile search by name to check for active accounts.

If you want to skip the assessment and check right now whether your partner has hidden dating profiles, CheatScanX scans 15+ apps including Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge using just a name, email, or phone number.

Why a Structured Self-Assessment Beats Guessing

When you suspect cheating, your brain does two things simultaneously: it hyperscans for evidence and it rationalizes away anything it finds. You notice your partner texting late at night and think, "That is suspicious." Ten seconds later, you think, "They are probably just talking to their friend." This push-pull cycle can go on for months.

The Psychology Behind Suspicion

Rosie Shrout, Assistant Professor of Human Development and Family Science at Purdue University, studied 246 adults who suspected their partners of infidelity. Her 2024 research published in the Western Journal of Communication found that people use five primary strategies when they suspect cheating: conversation, intrusion, snooping, surveillance, and avoidance.

The most common response was direct conversation. But here is the problem: most people start that conversation before they have organized their own thoughts. The result is a vague accusation ("You have been acting weird lately") that an unfaithful partner can easily deflect.

A structured assessment changes that dynamic. Instead of relying on a general uneasy feeling, you evaluate specific, observable behaviors across multiple categories. If you are wondering whether you are paranoid about cheating or picking up real signals, this framework gives you a concrete way to answer that question.

How Common Is Cheating, Really?

Before you start the assessment, some baseline context is useful. Data from the General Social Survey analyzed by the Institute for Family Studies shows that 20% of married men and 13% of married women report having had sex with someone other than their spouse while married. Those numbers increase when emotional affairs and non-marital relationships are included.

Among younger adults aged 18-29, roughly 10-11% of both men and women report cheating. The rate climbs with age, peaking among men aged 60-69 at 29%. Infidelity is not rare, and it is not limited to one gender, one age group, or one type of relationship.

Knowing this helps calibrate your expectations. You are not being paranoid by wondering. Statistically, infidelity is common enough that your concern deserves a serious evaluation.

How Structure Reduces Anxiety

Anxiety feeds on ambiguity. When you cannot name what is bothering you, the worry expands to fill every space. A checklist forces specificity. Instead of "something is wrong," you end up with "my partner has changed their phone password, started going to the gym five days a week, and came home two hours late three times this month without a clear explanation."

That specificity is useful whether your suspicion turns out to be correct or not. If the signs cluster together, you have a basis for action. If they do not, you have evidence that your relationship may be healthier than your anxiety is telling you.

How to Use This Assessment

Read each of the 25 signs below. For each one, answer honestly:

• Yes (1 point): This describes a noticeable change in my partner's behavior within the past 3-6 months.
• No (0 points): This does not apply, or it has always been this way.

The key word is change. A partner who has always been private about their phone is different from one who suddenly started hiding it. A partner who has always worked late is different from one who recently started coming home hours after their shift ends. You are looking for behavioral shifts, not baseline personality traits.

After completing all 25 questions, add up your total score and find your range in the interpretation section.

One important note: This assessment identifies patterns associated with infidelity based on behavioral research. It is not a lie detector. A score of 20 does not guarantee cheating, and a score of 3 does not guarantee faithfulness. Use it as a tool for clarity, not as a verdict.

Category 1: Phone and Device Behavior

Phone behavior is the most frequently cited category in infidelity research, and for good reason. A 2024 study on infidelity suspicion found that "partners hid their phones, deleted messages, and were on their phones frequently" were among the most common triggers for suspicion (Shrout, Purdue University, 2024).

Evaluate each sign based on whether it represents a recent change from your partner's normal behavior.

Sign 1: Your partner has changed their phone password or added new security measures without telling you.

Previously, you either knew the password or your partner did not seem to care if you saw their screen. Now the phone has a new passcode, Face ID, or biometric lock, and they have not mentioned why.

This is one of the earliest signs your husband is cheating on his phone or signs your wife is cheating on her phone that people report noticing first.

Sign 2: Your partner takes their phone everywhere — including the bathroom, the garage, even short trips to the kitchen.

Everyone carries their phone sometimes. The red flag is the shift from leaving it on the counter to physically carrying it to every room. This behavior suggests they do not want you to see an incoming notification, even for a few seconds.

Sign 3: Your partner turns their screen away from you or tilts it at an angle when texting.

Watch for the physical repositioning. If your partner used to text openly and now angles the screen away whenever they type, they are shielding specific content. This is different from someone who has always been a private texter.

Sign 4: Your partner has started deleting texts, clearing browser history, or using disappearing-message apps.

If you have noticed a suddenly empty text thread with a specific contact, a browser history that is always cleared, or new apps like Signal or Telegram that were not there before, those are apps cheaters use to keep conversations hidden.

Sign 5: Your partner reacts defensively or angrily when you casually touch or glance at their phone.

A simple question like "Who texted you?" used to get a neutral answer. Now it triggers irritation, deflection, or a counter-accusation like "Why are you always checking up on me?" Disproportionate defensiveness around a phone is a consistent finding in infidelity research.

Category 2: Emotional Distance and Communication Changes

Emotional withdrawal is often the first sign of an affair — and the hardest to quantify. Therapist Elena Touroni, a consultant psychologist specializing in relationships, notes that people cheating on their partners often redirect their emotional energy toward the new person, leaving noticeably less for the primary relationship (Touroni, 2024).

Sign 6: Your partner has become noticeably less interested in your daily life.

They used to ask about your day, your work, your friends. Now they seem checked out of those conversations. They respond with one-word answers or seem distracted when you share something important to you.

Sign 7: Meaningful conversations have been replaced by surface-level exchanges.

You used to talk about plans, dreams, worries, and opinions. Now interactions revolve around logistics: who is picking up the kids, what is for dinner, when the bill is due. The emotional depth has flattened.

Sign 8: Your partner has become more critical or picks fights over small things.

Guilt from infidelity often shows up as irritability. Starting arguments over trivial matters can serve two purposes: it creates emotional distance that justifies the affair, and it gives the cheating partner a reason to leave the house ("I need some space after that fight").

If your gut feeling he's cheating is partly driven by this increasing hostility, that is a data point worth recording.

Sign 9: Your partner avoids eye contact during serious conversations.

Eye contact avoidance during discussions about the relationship, future plans, or fidelity is a well-documented deception signal. This is particularly telling if your partner used to be comfortable with direct eye contact.

Sign 10: Your partner has stopped saying "I love you" first, or the phrase feels mechanical when they say it.

Emotional affairs create a sense of divided loyalty. Many people in affairs report feeling unable to say "I love you" to their primary partner without guilt — so they either stop saying it or deliver it with noticeable flatness.

Category 3: Schedule and Routine Shifts

According to data compiled from the General Social Survey, 30% of people who cheated on their spouses did so with a coworker (Cooper Trachtenberg Law Group, 2024). That means a significant portion of affairs hide behind work-related schedule changes. Evaluate whether the following changes are new and unexplained.

Sign 11: Your partner is working later or traveling more frequently than before, with vague explanations.

"Big project at work" and "client dinner" are legitimate reasons to be late. The question is frequency and verifiability. If late nights have tripled in the past two months and the details are always fuzzy, that shift matters.

Sign 12: Your partner has started going out with "friends" more often, but the details do not add up.

They mention going out with friends but cannot say which friends. Or the friends they name do not seem to know about the plans when you casually ask. Manufactured social plans are a common cover for affair time.

Sign 13: Your partner's gym routine has changed dramatically — or appeared out of nowhere.

A sudden, intense focus on physical appearance can signal that your partner is trying to impress someone new. This is especially notable when combined with other changes like new clothes, different cologne or perfume, or grooming habits they never had before.

Sign 14: Your partner has become unusually interested in your schedule.

If your partner suddenly asks detailed questions about when you will be home, when your meetings end, or when you are leaving the house, they may be trying to identify safe windows for contact or meetings with another person.

Sign 15: Unexplained gaps appear in your partner's day that they cannot account for.

You called at 3 PM and they did not answer. Later, they said they were in a meeting, but their calendar was empty. Small gaps occasionally mean nothing. Repeated gaps with inconsistent explanations form a pattern.

Category 4: Intimacy and Affection Changes

Changes in physical intimacy are among the most confusing signs, because cheating can cause either an increase or a decrease. Some partners withdraw sexually because their needs are being met elsewhere. Others overcompensate with increased affection to mask guilt.

Sign 16: Your sexual relationship has decreased significantly without a clear reason.

Stress, health issues, and medication changes are legitimate causes of reduced intimacy. The red flag is a drop in sexual frequency that your partner cannot or will not explain — especially when combined with signs from other categories.

Sign 17: Your partner seems emotionally absent during intimate moments.

They are physically present but mentally somewhere else. They check the clock, seem distracted, or go through the motions without genuine connection. This emotional absence during intimacy is one of the more painful signs your boyfriend is on dating apps or engaged with someone else.

Sign 18: Your partner has introduced new techniques or preferences in the bedroom without explanation.

A sudden change in sexual behavior — new positions, new requests, new habits — can indicate that your partner is experiencing a sexual relationship with someone else and unconsciously (or consciously) bringing those experiences into your relationship.

Sign 19: Non-sexual physical affection has dropped off.

Holding hands, casual touches, sitting close on the couch, a kiss goodbye — these small gestures of connection often decrease when a partner is emotionally invested elsewhere. The absence of casual affection can be more telling than changes in sexual frequency.

Sign 20: Your partner has started showering immediately upon arriving home.

If your partner never used to shower right after getting home and now does it routinely, they may be removing physical evidence — a different scent, perfume, cologne, or other traces of close contact with another person.

Category 5: Digital and Social Media Red Flags

Data from a study published in Computers in Human Behaviour found that 18% to 25% of Tinder users are in a committed relationship while actively using the app. Among surveyed American users specifically, 42% admitted to being married or in a committed relationship while on Tinder. These are not edge cases. Digital infidelity is common enough that this category deserves its own section in any cheating assessment.

For a deeper look at the numbers, see our full breakdown of dating app cheating statistics.

Sign 21: Your partner has new social media accounts or apps that you did not know about.

A second Instagram, a new Snapchat, or dating apps disguised to look like utility apps — these are direct indicators of hidden digital activity. We have documented several hidden dating apps on a phone that are designed to avoid detection, including apps that disguise themselves as calculators or note-taking tools.

Sign 22: Your partner's social media activity has changed — new followers, more private browsing, or deactivated accounts.

If their follower count jumped, they suddenly went private, or they deleted their profile entirely ("I just got tired of social media"), those are behavioral shifts worth noting. Deactivating a profile can be a way to hide a digital trail from you.

Sign 23: You have found evidence of dating app activity — notifications, email confirmations, or charges.

A notification from Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge is hard to explain innocently. The same goes for credit card charges from dating services or email confirmations for account creation. If you want to check without accessing their phone, you can find out if your partner is on dating apps using a profile search tool.

Sign 24: Your partner communicates with someone you do not know through platforms that feel secretive.

Late-night Discord messages, whispered phone calls in another room, or frequent texting with a contact saved under a name that does not match anyone you know (or saved as just an initial or emoji) — these patterns indicate communication they do not want you to see.

Sign 25: Your partner has a second phone, a prepaid SIM card, or a phone bill you cannot access.

This is one of the most deliberate signs on this list. A second phone exists specifically to separate one life from another. If you have discovered a device you did not know about, that alone is worth a serious conversation.

Interpreting Your Score

Add up the number of signs you answered "Yes" to. Find your range below.

0-5 Signs: Low Concern

A few signs in isolation often have innocent explanations. Your partner may be stressed at work, going through a personal phase, or dealing with something unrelated to infidelity. This score suggests that your relationship may have normal friction rather than deception.

What to do: If you are still uneasy, address it with a direct, non-accusatory conversation. Something like: "I have noticed you have been more distracted lately. Is everything okay?" can open the door without creating defensiveness.

Consider whether something else might be driving your anxiety. Relationship anxiety, attachment insecurity, or past betrayal in a previous relationship can all generate suspicion that does not match the current evidence. If your anxiety persists despite a low score, our article on whether you are paranoid about cheating or picking up real signals may help you sort through what you are feeling.

6-12 Signs: Moderate Concern

Six or more signs — particularly when they span multiple categories — form a pattern that is harder to dismiss. This does not confirm cheating, but it indicates that something significant has shifted in your relationship.

What to do: Have a direct conversation. Be specific about the behaviors you have noticed (not accusations, but observations). "I have noticed you have been working late three nights a week, you changed your phone password, and you seem less interested in spending time together. Can we talk about what is going on?"

If direct conversation does not resolve your concerns, consider a couples therapist. You might also run a quick search to catch a cheater online by checking whether your partner has active profiles on dating platforms.

13-18 Signs: High Concern

Thirteen or more signs across multiple categories represent a strong pattern of behavioral change consistent with infidelity. At this level, the statistical likelihood that all of these changes are coincidental drops considerably.

What to do: This score warrants action. Consider:

• A direct, prepared conversation — Write down the specific behaviors you have observed before you talk. Stay factual and avoid emotional flooding.
• A dating profile search — Use a tool like CheatScanX to find out if your partner is on dating apps without needing to access their devices.
• Professional support — A therapist who specializes in infidelity can help you prepare for whatever comes next.

If you think your boyfriend is cheating but have no proof, this level of concern is exactly when external verification becomes valuable.

19-25 Signs: Critical Concern

A score this high means nearly every category shows significant behavioral change. While even this score is not absolute proof, the volume of concurrent warning signs is substantial.

What to do: At this point, gathering information before confrontation is usually the recommended approach. Relationship therapists often advise clients in this situation to:

1. Document what you have observed (dates, times, specific behaviors)
2. Run a dating profile search by name to check for digital evidence
3. Consult a therapist individually before having the conversation with your partner
4. Consider what outcome you want — reconciliation, separation, or more information — before you confront

Our guide on how to catch a cheater walks through the verification process step by step.

What These Signs Actually Mean (and What They Don't)

When Signs Have Innocent Explanations

Every sign on this list has a non-infidelity explanation. People change their phone passwords after security scares. Work schedules fluctuate. Gym habits start and stop. Depression, anxiety, work stress, and health issues can all mimic the behavioral changes associated with cheating.

Here are some common innocent explanations for behaviors that often trigger suspicion:

The point is not to rationalize away every sign. The point is to consider each behavior in its full context before drawing conclusions.

One study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior (2017) found that people who suspected their first partner of infidelity were four times more likely to suspect their next partner as well — regardless of whether the next partner was actually unfaithful. This means past betrayal can calibrate your threat-detection system to be overly sensitive. If you were cheated on before, you may be pattern-matching against old trauma rather than current reality.

That does not mean your suspicion is wrong. It means context matters. A partner who changes their phone password during a company-wide security update is different from a partner who changes it the same week they started "working late" three nights in a row.

The Cluster Effect: Why Patterns Matter More Than Single Signs

Individual signs are weak evidence. Clusters of signs across multiple categories are strong evidence.

If your partner only shows one sign — say, increased phone privacy — you are probably looking at a normal behavioral variation. If your partner shows phone privacy plus emotional withdrawal plus schedule changes plus new grooming habits, all within the same 2-3 month window, the cluster tells a different story.

Relationship researchers call this "behavioral convergence." When multiple independent indicators point in the same direction simultaneously, the likelihood that they all have unrelated innocent explanations decreases with each additional sign.

This is why the assessment is organized into five separate categories. Cross-category patterns carry more weight than multiple signs within a single category.

The Timeline Factor

Pay attention to when the changes started. Cheating-related behavioral shifts tend to cluster in time. If your partner's phone habits, emotional availability, and schedule all changed within the same month, that temporal overlap is significant.

Ask yourself: Can I identify a specific timeframe when things started feeling different? If the answer is yes — if you can point to roughly when the shift began — that is a stronger signal than scattered changes that happened over a year or more. Gradual drift is normal in long-term relationships. A concentrated cluster of changes within weeks is not.

What to Do After You Get Your Results

For Low and Moderate Scores

Your primary path is communication. Open a conversation about the specific changes you have noticed. Use observations, not accusations:

• Instead of: "You are clearly hiding something on your phone."
• Try: "I noticed you have been keeping your phone closer lately and you seemed uncomfortable when I picked it up yesterday. That is not like you. Is there something going on?"

Couples therapists recommend the "I noticed / I feel / I need" framework:

1. I noticed [specific behavior change]
2. I feel [your emotional response]
3. I need [what would help you feel secure]

If the conversation goes well and your partner addresses your concerns honestly, that may be all you need. If it goes poorly — defensiveness, deflection, counter-accusations — that reaction itself becomes a data point.

For High and Critical Scores

When scores are high, gathering information before confrontation gives you a stronger position. Here is a practical sequence:

1. Document your observations. Write down specific dates, times, and behaviors. Memory distorts under stress, so contemporaneous notes are valuable.
2. Check for digital evidence. A dating app search tool can tell you whether your partner has active profiles. This gives you concrete data rather than speculation.
3. Secure your financial information. Before any confrontation, know where your money is. Review joint accounts for unusual charges, especially small charges to dating services.
4. Consult a professional. This could be a therapist, a lawyer (if marriage is involved), or both. Knowing your options before the conversation helps you make better decisions during it.
5. Plan the conversation. Choose a time when you are both calm, sober, and not about to leave for work. State what you have observed. Ask open-ended questions. Listen carefully to the answers — and to what is not said.

For detailed guidance on gathering evidence, see our guides on how to catch a cheating husband or how to catch a cheater online.

When to Seek Professional Help

Consider professional support if:

• Your anxiety about cheating is interfering with daily life (sleep, work, appetite)
• You have confronted your partner and they deny it, but the behaviors continue
• You discovered evidence of cheating and need help deciding what to do
• You want to repair the relationship but do not know where to start

A therapist who specializes in infidelity can help you process what you are feeling and make decisions from a grounded place rather than an emotional one. If you discover your partner is on a dating app, our guide on what to do if your partner is on a dating app outlines the immediate steps.

Common Mistakes People Make When They Suspect Cheating

Mistake 1: Confronting too early without enough information.

The urge to confront immediately is overwhelming. But a vague accusation ("Are you cheating on me?") gives an unfaithful partner an easy escape. They deny it, you have no evidence to counter the denial, and the conversation ends with you doubting yourself even more. If you plan to confront, do it after you have documented specific patterns and ideally after checking for digital evidence.

Mistake 2: Snooping through their phone without a plan.

Going through your partner's phone in secret creates two problems. First, if you find nothing, you feel guilty and anxious. Second, if you find something, you have to explain how you found it — which shifts the conversation from their betrayal to your breach of privacy. A dating profile search lets you check for active profiles without touching their device.

Mistake 3: Telling friends and family before you know the facts.

Once you tell people, you cannot untell them. If you later reconcile, your family may never fully trust your partner again. Keep your circle small until you have confirmed facts. A therapist provides confidential support without the social fallout.

Mistake 4: Ignoring your own needs while obsessing over their behavior.

Suspicion is consuming. People stop eating, stop sleeping, stop being present with their kids. Whatever the outcome, you need to maintain your own well-being. Exercise, sleep, eat, and lean on your support system. You will make better decisions when you are not running on adrenaline and three hours of sleep.

Mistake 5: Assuming a negative result means you were wrong about everything.

If you search for their dating profile and find nothing, or if their phone turns up clean, that does not necessarily mean your concerns are invalid. Affairs can happen without dating apps. Emotional affairs leave almost no digital trail. A clean search is good news, but it is one data point — not a comprehensive answer. Pay attention to the behavioral patterns this assessment helped you identify.

Mistake 6: Comparing your situation to other people's stories.

Reading cheating stories online or talking to friends who have been betrayed can distort your perception. Every relationship is different. The fact that your coworker's husband was cheating when he started going to the gym does not mean your partner's new gym membership means the same thing. Use this assessment to evaluate your relationship based on your partner's behavioral changes, not someone else's script.

Mistake 7: Using monitoring software or spyware.

Installing tracking apps or keyloggers on your partner's devices is illegal in most jurisdictions without their knowledge and consent. Beyond the legal risk, it destroys any remaining trust in the relationship — even if you find evidence of cheating. Stick to methods that do not require accessing their devices, like a dating profile search or direct conversation. For a list of tools that work without touching your partner's phone, see our roundup of best cheater finder apps.

Your Next Step

You took this assessment because something did not feel right. Now you have a score, a framework, and a clearer sense of where your suspicions stand.

If your score was low, a direct conversation with your partner is your best path forward. If your score was moderate to high, consider verifying your suspicions with a dating profile search. CheatScanX scans 15+ dating apps on CheatScanX — including Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and more — using just a name, email, or phone number. Results arrive in minutes, and you get clarity without touching your partner's phone or tipping them off.

Whatever your score, you deserve an honest answer. Trust the patterns this assessment helped you see, and take the next step that feels right for your situation.